Asexual

Key Features

• Asexual individuals do not experience sexual attraction to others. This can mean that they do not feel the desire for sexual activity, either in a romantic or non-romantic context.

• Asexuality exists on a spectrum, meaning that some asexual people may occasionally experience sexual attraction under specific conditions (often called graysexual or demisexual), while others may never feel it.

• Asexual people may still form romantic relationships or engage in non-sexual physical intimacy, but their relationships are typically not centered around sexual activity.

Context

Asexuality is part of the broader spectrum of sexual orientations and highlights the diversity of human experiences with attraction. It challenges the assumption that sexual attraction is a universal or necessary part of relationships, and it acknowledges that many people experience relationships and intimacy in ways that do not involve sexual desire.

Lack of Sexual Attraction

Asexual individuals do not feel sexual attraction to others, meaning they don't experience the typical pull toward others' bodies or the desire to engage in sexual activities. However, the absence of sexual attraction does not equate to a lack of romantic or emotional attraction. An asexual person might still form strong, loving relationships, though these relationships might not involve sex.

Example: An asexual person may enjoy close, committed relationships but feel no desire for sexual activity.

Spectrum of Experiences

The asexual umbrella includes several microlabels, such as:

• Graysexual: Individuals who occasionally feel sexual attraction but at a very low intensity or only under specific circumstances.

• Demisexual: People who experience sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with someone.

• Lithsexual: Those who feel sexual attraction but do not desire it to be reciprocated.

• Reciprosexual: Individuals who only feel sexual attraction after the other person expresses sexual attraction toward them.

Example: A demisexual individual might not feel attraction until a strong, trusting relationship has been established.

Independence from Libido

Asexuality is about lack of attraction, not necessarily lack of sexual desire or activity. Asexual individuals might choose to engage in sexual activities for various reasons, including to please a partner, for reproduction, or out of curiosity, even if they do not feel sexual attraction. It’s also possible for asexual individuals to not engage in sexual activity at all. This decision can be based on personal comfort, preference, or a desire to avoid the discomfort of sexual experiences they don't find fulfilling.

Example: An asexual person might choose to engage in sex with their partner even if they don't personally feel sexual attraction.

Romantic vs. Sexual Attraction

It’s important to note that asexuality is distinct from aromanticism. Asexual individuals might experience romantic attraction (wanting to form a romantic relationship), but they do not necessarily feel sexual attraction. An asexual person might pursue romantic relationships, while an aromantic individual might not feel romantic attraction but could still have deep, meaningful relationships. The asexual spectrum includes identities like romantic asexual, who experience romantic attraction but lack sexual attraction, and aromantic asexual, who do not experience romantic or sexual attraction.

Example: An asexual individual could be in a romantic relationship without the expectation of sexual intimacy, while still feeling a desire for companionship, love, and connection.

Cultural Relevance

The term asexual contributes to broader conversations about sexual diversity, helping to increase visibility for those who do not experience sexual attraction. It fosters inclusivity by recognizing that sexual desire is not a universal experience, and it supports the idea that relationships and emotional connections can thrive without a sexual component.

Expanding the LGBTQIA+ Spectrum

Asexuality highlights the diversity of sexual orientations within the LGBTQIA+ community, providing representation for individuals whose experiences challenge societal norms around sexuality.

Asexuality is often misunderstood because it’s assumed to be a monolithic experience. However, the asexual spectrum includes a wide range of experiences, from individuals who occasionally experience sexual attraction to those who never do. This diversity within the asexual community challenges the oversimplified notion that people must feel sexual attraction to form intimate or meaningful connections.

Example: Including asexuality in LGBTQIA+ discussions ensures visibility for those whose experiences don't involve sexual attraction.

Challenging Societal Expectations About Sexuality

Asexuality challenges the societal assumption that sexual attraction is universal and an essential part of human relationships. By acknowledging asexuality, society can begin to understand that not everyone experiences or seeks sexual attraction, and that fulfilling relationships can exist without sex.

Example: By affirming asexual identities, society can broaden its understanding of human connection and desire.

Shifting Focus to Other Forms of Connection

Asexuality encourages a broader understanding of love, intimacy, and human connection. It shows that meaningful relationships can exist in a variety of forms, not just romantic or sexual ones. This can lead to a cultural shift where platonic, familial, and queerplatonic relationships are valued as deeply fulfilling.

Example: Asexuality encourages recognition of friendships, family relationships, and chosen families as equally meaningful forms of connection.

Challenges Faced by Asexual Individuals

• Invisibility and Erasure: Asexuality is often overlooked or misunderstood, even within LGBTQIA+ spaces. People may wrongly assume asexuality is a phase, trauma response, or hormonal issue.

  • Example: An asexual individual might be told they “just need to meet the right person.”

• Pressure to Conform: Asexual individuals may feel pressured to participate in sexual relationships to meet societal or partner expectations.

  • Example: An asexual person in a romantic relationship might face challenges explaining their boundaries to their partner.

• Lack of Representation: Asexual identities are rarely depicted in media or cultural narratives, leading to feelings of isolation. 

  • Example: Asexual people often lack role models or characters they can relate to in popular culture.