Radical self-acceptance is a transformative journey - one that takes time, patience, and deep introspection. It’s about fully embracing who you are, shedding the weight of societal expectations, and celebrating your authentic self. It's a process that is often not linear, and, most importantly, it doesn't happen overnight - It’s a gradual unfolding that's sometimes slow and frequently challenging but is always worth it.
For LGBTQIA+ individuals, the journey toward self-acceptance can be even more complex, shaped by the pressures of external judgment and internalized beliefs. Yet, by nurturing your sense of worth and embracing your identity, you can create a foundation for profound self-love and confidence.
Radical self-acceptance is something that I've been thinking a great deal about for myself over the last few months. As someone who has openly and unashamedly been part of the LGBTQIA+ community for many years, it always comes as a surprise that, when I discover a new part of myself, I still feel the need to suppress it before ultimately giving myself over to it. The acceptance and celebration of others is something that is so deeply ingrained in me that I often forget that accepting myself is something completely separate, deserving of its own time and care.
As we kick off 2025, a year that we already knew was going to be hard for so many LGBTQIA+ individuals across the world before it even started, that is going to be about fighting for our right to not only exist but thrive, it's important to remember that we cannot give ourselves to that fight without looking after ourselves. YOU must be your priority to help those around you who need it most.
Here are steps to help you start or deepen your journey toward embracing and caring for your true self - steps that honor your uniqueness and empower you to live authentically.
1. Set Boundaries That Reflect Your True Self
Boundaries are essential for protecting your sense of self. Many LGBTQIA+ individuals, particularly those in less supportive environments, feel pressured to dim parts of their authenticity to maintain relationships or avoid conflict. While both of these things are important for safety reasons, setting healthy boundaries is a powerful act that preserves your well-being while creating a space where you can show up as your true self (as long as you feel safe to do so!).
Start small
Begin by setting boundaries in manageable situations - perhaps by declining invitations to events or gatherings that don’t honor who you are, or where you feel the need to “mask” your true self. Reducing the time you spend in spaces that aren't safe for you to exist authentically gives you more time to exist in the spaces that are, helping to improve your inner comfort levels and build confidence. This act of saying "no" can have a profound impact on your sense of autonomy.
Communicate your needs clearly
Expressing your boundaries doesn’t have to be confrontational. In fact, I'd recommend approaching these conversations with calm and clarity. Letting others know what you need to feel safe and respected while ensuring they don't feel attacked, which may result in more defensive behavior, is the best way to ensure you're being heard. You may even find yourself educating others about why certain actions or comments are hurtful, which can be empowering for both you and those around you.
2. Recognize and Unlearn Internalized Prejudices
As LGBTQIA+ individuals, we are often subjected to society’s oppressive norms and biased messages, which can lead to internalized shame about our identities. I'm certainly guilty of this. Radical self-acceptance requires us to examine and challenge these internalized beliefs, liberating ourselves from self-judgment and embracing the beauty of our full selves. I know this is easier said than done, so here are some places that might be helpful to get you started...
Reflect on societal messages
If any feelings of self-doubt, shame, or unworthiness arise ask yourself, "Is this my belief, or is it a reflection of what society has taught me?". Recognizing the source of these feelings, and understanding that these sources are incorrect and purposefully harmful, can help to separate your authentic truth from societal conditioning.
With social media continuing to feed the 24-hour news cycle with harmful misinformation, it's harder than it's ever been to separate fact from fiction, and easier than it's ever been for those who do wish to cause harm to do so openly without consequence. But, as queer icon, Mika, says, "We are not what they think we are". And you, as an individual, are not what society can be so intent on saying you are because of who you love or how you identify.
Reframe negative thoughts
Over time, try to replace harmful internalized messages with empowering affirmations. It's no small feat to step out into a world that can seem so actively against who you are, but unapologetically be yourself anyway. While it should be the most natural thing we do, it takes strength and resilience to show the beauty of your identity and to honor your uniqueness in the current climate. And you absolutely should take a moment to pat yourself on the back. This reframing can gradually reshape how you view yourself.
3. Cultivate a Self-Care Routine That Affirms Your Identity
Self-care is an essential tool for nurturing your mental and emotional well-being, and it can be deeply affirming when it aligns with your true self. Self-care is not just about relaxation and meditation and yoga (although they can all be incredibly helpful!); it’s about creating practices that allow you to connect with your authentic identity and celebrate your uniqueness. And uniqueness is the key here.
There isn't one right way to practice self-care because it's about taking the time to do the things that make you happy, no matter what they are. I, for example, intend to go to more gigs, play some more video games, do some more writing, and spend some more dedicated time working on myself this year!
No matter what you do, the only rule is that it makes you happy, maybe try to...
Engage with affirming media
If you, like so many of us, spend a fair amount of time online, be sure to surround yourself with content that reflects and celebrates LGBTQIA+ experiences. This could involve watching films by LGBTQIA+ filmmakers, reading books by LGBTQIA+ authors, listening to podcasts that resonate with your journey, or simply ensuring you follow accounts on social media that affirm your identity.
Incorporate activities that honor your identity
For many people, self-care is a way to productively, proactively, and outwardly express the things they're feeling on the inside. Journaling, creating art, meditating, or expressing yourself through fashion - anything that helps you feel grounded and authentic - can help to better process things that are harder to understand securely and safely. Regularly engage in these practices to strengthen your connection with your true self, and help you to connect with other like-minded people.
4. Seek Out and Build Community Support
Building a supportive community is vital to maintaining your self-acceptance, especially when societal pressures may leave you feeling isolated. Surrounding yourself with other queer people, and fierce, active allies, not only helps with loneliness but also with normalizing your experiences and reminding you that you’re not alone in your journey. We may be a minority community, but we are, without a doubt, the most connected.
Look for virtual and local communities
Whether your community is in person or online doesn't really matter, as long as you're connecting with those who celebrate you for who you are. If you live in a more isolated area, the internet offers a wealth of opportunities to connect with others who understand your experience. This website and the community building from it is just one example of the global love, support, and solidarity out there for those who look for it. Whether it’s through online forums, social media groups, or local gatherings, if you're looking for community it's easier to find than you might think.
Participate in LGBTQIA+ events and support groups
Whether through Pride festivals, community meet-ups, or virtual gatherings, these events offer a sense of belonging and are a reminder that you are part of a larger, supportive network. They also offer an opportunity to support campaigns and make real change within your local and wider communities, which I think are some of the most important things we can be doing right now.
Just remember, though, that queer people don't just exist to fight for rights. Yes, it's important, now more than ever, but equally important is finding a community where you can kick back and have some fun. An LGBTQIA+ meet-up doesn't have to have any other purpose than watching a movie, having a drink, playing some games, going for a walk, or chatting.
5. Embrace Intersectionality and Acknowledge Your Unique Story
Radical self-acceptance involves honoring every part of your identity, including the intersecting aspects such as race, religion, disability, or cultural background. I'll be the first to say that I often let my queerness override the other aspects of my identity because as a trans-non-binary queer person, it's such a huge part of who I am, and I so often find myself having to fight for things as a result. And while I don't think I'm necessarily going to reduce the amount of time I give that part of myself, I am going to increase the amount of time I give to being Gozitan, neurodiverse, autoimmune, and more because together they make me who I am.
Consider your unique identity and journey as a Venn diagram that is shaped by these different layers. Acknowledging this complexity and how they overlay and intersect is an act of self-respect that goes beyond any individual part of your identity. But, as strange as it sounds, knowing where to get started on your intersectionality can be tough. Especially if you, like me, have given the majority of your energy to one aspect for so long. To get started, try to...
Educate yourself on intersectionality
Understanding intersectionality in its most basic form, outside of your intersectionality, can help form the basic foundations you need when you do feel ready to explore the different aspects of your identity. I found visualizations of different people's intersectionalities to be incredibly helpful when considering what would be included for me. This also helped me to better understand the experiences of those who similarly identify with me in some aspects but differ in others - LGBTQIA+ POC for example. By exploring intersectionality, you can address internalized biases and challenges while strengthening your connection to your whole self.
Embrace your full identity
Once you've taken some time to figure out your own intersectional identity, it's super important to give yourself the green light to celebrate every part of who you are. This self-discovery journey can be both eye-opening and empowering, helping you see the many layers of your identity. Be proud of your LGBTQIA+ identity, but don't forget to embrace all the other things that make you unique, all mixing with your LGBTQIA+ identity to create a full picture of you. By recognizing and celebrating these different pieces, you can get a better understanding of how they shape your views and interactions with the world.
6. Practice Self-Compassion Daily
Self-compassion is a cornerstone of radical self-acceptance. It allows you to be kind to yourself, especially in moments of doubt or difficulty. Self-compassion is not just about forgiving yourself for mistakes; it’s about treating yourself with the same care and understanding you would offer to a friend.
I'm sure I'm not the only one here who seems to hold themself to a much higher standard than I would those around me. Mistakes are human, but not if I make them. It's ok if you're scared or anxious, but not if I am. It doesn't matter if you fail this time around as long as you keep trying, but I cannot fail.
I wouldn't dare say the things to another person that I've said to myself because I know I would come across as rude, disrespectful, insensitive, and cruel. But that's what so many of us are to ourselves, and the effect isn't any less because we're saying it internally instead of externally.
Why do we do that to ourselves, eh? I hope you'll join me in trying to kick that habit by...
Practicing positive self-talk
Be mindful of your inner dialogue. When you make a mistake or face setbacks and you hear that rude, disrespectful, insensitive, and cruel voice, try to pause. Ask yourself if you would say that to another person, a friend, family member, or colleague. If the answer is no, then switch from the pause button to the delete button. Actively choose to speak to yourself with the kindness and encouragement that you would give another person. it won't be easy, but over time you'll release feelings of inadequacy and replace them with understanding and patience.
Create a self-compassion ritual
Try beginning each day with an affirmation like, "I am worthy of love and acceptance just as I am." Over time, these affirmations can reshape how you perceive yourself, cultivating a mindset of love, acceptance, and growth. Think of it as putting up a shield against that rude, disrespectful, insensitive, and cruel voice. It won't necessarily stop it from coming, but it'll give you the additional defense needed to press that pause button and form a plan of attack.
Embracing the Journey in 2025 and Beyond
Radical self-acceptance is an ongoing journey. Some days it will feel like second nature; on other days, it might feel more challenging. But each step forward is a courageous act in a world that often seeks to define us. In 2025 and beyond, start and continue to practice radical self-acceptance as a unique individual who is LGBTQIA+ AND other things. Radical self-acceptance isn’t just about surviving; it’s about thriving, celebrating, and living authentically. You deserve to show up in the world as the full, powerful person you are. Your journey is one of pride, courage, and unapologetic self-love.
So remember, you are worthy of love, acceptance, and belonging exactly as you are.
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