For years, countries and communities all over the world have acknowledged the existence of a third gender.
In Japan, this is referred to as 'Wakashu'; in South Asia, 'hijras' are legally recognised; and in Polynesia, ' fa'afafine' are recognised and respected.
These are all examples of non-binary genders within different cultures.
Here in the UK, our understanding of gender is also evolving beyond the traditional binary concept of male and female, but there is still a lot of work to do to ensure the non-binary community, myself included, are considered both legally and social equal to our cisgender and binary-trans counterparts.
In this beginner's guide, we will start to look at what it means to be non-binary, why recognising and respecting non-binary individuals is crucial, and how we can foster a more inclusive society that celebrates gender diversity.
What is Non-Binary?
Those of us that are non-binary fall under the incredibly broad transgender umbrella. To be transgender means that you have transitioned in some way, mentally, physically or spiritually, from one gender (your assigned at birth gender), to another. This could be within the binary - from male to female or female to male - which is what most society associates with being transgender. But it can also be outside of the binary, from female to non-binary or male to non-binary for example.
Non-binary in itself is an identity that many, including myself, identify with, but it is also a kind of 'micro-umbrella' term that encompasses the huge range of gender identities that do not fit exclusively within the categories of male or female. Some non-binary individuals may identify as a combination of both genders, while others may reject the concept of gender altogether, identifying as neither gender, or a combination of genders that is unique to them.
Identities that fall under the non-binary micro-umbrella include (but are not limited to: Genderfluid, genderqueer, bigender, trigender, pangender, demiboy, demigirl, demigender, neutrois, agender, two-spirit and androgyny). While there is often overlap between these identities, they all have slight nuances that separate them.
Most importantly, all of these identities, and any that I may have missed out, are absolutely valid and should be respected and affirmed as we learn to embrace fluidity.
To embrace fluidity means to acknowledge that gender exists on a spectrum rather than a fixed binary. It recognises that each person's gender identity is unique and should be respected. For non-binary individuals, fluidity allows them the freedom to express themselves authentically, without conforming to societal expectations.
By embracing fluidity, we open ourselves up to the richness and diversity of human experiences. We recognise that gender is not a static concept but rather a deeply personal and individual aspect of a person's identity that can develop and change over time. It allows us to move beyond rigid stereotypes and create space for all individuals to be seen, heard, and valued.
Understanding Non-Binary Identities:
Gender Identity vs. Assigned Sex
It is crucial to distinguish between gender identity and assigned sex. Assigned sex is based on physical characteristics observed at birth, whereas gender identity refers to an individual's deeply felt sense of their own gender. Like binary transgender individuals, non-binary individuals may experience gender dysphoria, which refers to the distress caused by a misalignment between one's gender identity and assigned sex, leading to a need for acknowledgment and acceptance. For some, this means taking gender affirming hormones and undergoing gender affirmation surgery. For others, this means finding mental and spiritual affirmation through self-care practices such as therapy.
Whether the route an individual goes down includes medical intervention of not, access to gender-affirming healthcare is a vital for non-binary individuals experiencing gender dysphoria, and in many cases, can be life saving.
Pronouns and Language
Pronouns play a crucial role in affirming someone's gender identity. While binary individuals typically use he/him or she/her, non-binary individuals often use the pronouns they/them, which is what i use. Other valid gender neutral pronouns include ze/hir, xe/xem, ver/vir, per/per, e/ey, fae/faer, ae/aer...and there are loads more.
Some non-binary individuals who still identify with a binary gender or both of the binary genders may also mix they/them pronouns, for example, she/they, he/they, or she/they/he. Using the correct pronouns is a simple yet powerful way to respect and validate a person's identity. Here are some top tips:
If you are unsure of which pronouns to use for a person, the best thing you can do is ask.
If you get someones pronouns wrong, apologies, correct yourself, and move on without making a big deal out of it.
Always using gender neutral pronouns as a general rule is the best way to avoid any potential offence.
Misgendering, the act of using incorrect pronouns, can be incredibly harmful and invalidating for non-binary individuals. It perpetuates the erasure of their identities and contributes to their marginalisation. By embracing and using inclusive pronouns, you're actively contributing to a more inclusive and affirming environment for everyone.
Gender Expression
Non-binary individuals express their gender identity in diverse ways, breaking free from societal expectations associated with femininity or masculinity. Some may present themselves in a way that combines elements from various gender expressions, while others may choose to present in a manner that is entirely distinct from traditional gender norms. Recognising and celebrating these unique expressions is crucial in fostering inclusivity for not just non-binary people, but for everyone. It's important to remember that gender expression and gender identity are two very different things. So, while 'gender expression' is typically associated with the LGBTQIA+ community, I believe that everyone, regardless of their binary or non-binary gender identity, should be to express their gender however they see fit.
The concept of gender expression not only gives the non-binary community a means to express their diverse identities, but it also enables trans and cisgender males and females to break down societal gender stereotypes of what it means to be and present as male or female.
The Importance of Recognising and Respecting Non-Binary Individuals:
Validating Identity
As a non-binary person, I can quite confidently say that non-binary people do exist - hello! Here in the UK, though, non-binary is not a legally recognised gender, and so it becomes easy for anti-trans movements to invalidate our identities. Recognising non-binary identities is crucial for validating the experiences and lives of those of us who do not fit within the gender binary. By acknowledging our gender, you affirm our right to exist and live authentically.
Challenging Gender Norms
Embracing non-binary identities challenges the traditional binary notion of gender and its associated expectations and stereotypes. By recognising non-binary individuals, you're encouraging a more inclusive understanding of gender, which benefits not only non-binary individuals but also the broader community.
This recognition allows for the freedom of self-expression and dismantles the notion that gender is a rigid and fixed concept for everyone.
Mental Health and Well-being
As a Non-binary individual, I face unique mental health challenges related to my gender identity. The lack of legal recognition sometimes makes me feel invisible, while the lack of understanding and willingness to learn from others often means i shut down and sell myself short. These experiences are common for the non-binary community, and in my case, they lead to increased rates of anxiety, depression, and gender dysphoria. Validating and respecting non-binary identities not only contributes to a supportive environment, but it also improves the mental health and overall wellbeing of those who are so often disregarded.
Creating an Inclusive Society
Educate Yourself
There is nothing more powerful that awareness, knowledge, and education in the fight for non-binary equality. Proactively seek out resources, literature, and personal narratives written by non-binary individuals to deepen your understanding. Engage in respectful conversations and ask questions to expand your knowledge and challenge preconceived notions.
Practice Inclusive Language
We live in a society where it is assumed people are straight and cis unless told otherwise, so in everyday conversation people often assume another person’s gender. For non-binary people, It can feel uncomfortable and difficult to correct a person about our identity, especially if we've have just met them or we're in a situation where we're are already feeling uncomfortable, such as the first time we meet a new coworker, etc.
I'd encourage you to avoid gendered language where possible, here are some examples...
Instead of 'boys and girls' 'guys' and 'ladies', use terms like 'folks', 'everyone',... At CloudCall, my team have replaced the term 'guys' with 'geese' to ensure I feel included!
Instead of 'your wife/husband' or 'your boyfriend/girlfriend', use terms like 'partner
Amplify Non-Binary Voices
Actively support and uplift non-binary individuals by sharing their stories, experiences, and achievements. Amplifying their voices helps combat stereotypes, challenges misconceptions, and cultivates a more inclusive narrative.
Create Inclusive Spaces
Evaluate the spaces you inhabit, whether at work, school, or within your community. Strive to make these environments inclusive and affirming for LGBTQIA+ individuals. Implement policies and practices that protect against discrimination and harassment. Encourage diversity training and workshops that promote inclusivity and challenge biases. By fostering inclusivity within your sphere of influence, you contribute to a more welcoming world for everyone.
Understanding non-binary identities as a society is an essential step in fighting for our legal recognition. Recognising and respecting non-binary individuals means affirming their identities, challenging gender norms, and promoting the well-being of all.
By embracing the diversity of gender identities, we can work together to create a future that celebrates the richness of human experience, free from discrimination based on gender.
Comments